Enjoy the moment

First time tips

Best tips for men

Best tips for women

First time tips

1. Don’t expect too much from a first date

You’re meeting a stranger. Chances are that you won’t fancy each other, or that only one of you will fancy the other. So don’t fantasise too much.

2. Meet quickly, or stop messaging

Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up. Six messages in total – not each – is enough to know whether you want a date.

3. Let Your Friends Set You Up

No one loves you quite like your friends do, so let them set you up with someone that they can vouch for. "It's better for single people to meet through friends because there's a familiarity and comfort that goes with that," says behavioral scientist Christie Hartman, Ph.D. "A friend setting you up means the guy is 'vetted' to some extent." So let them play matchmaker—but first, lay down some rules. Make it clear ahead of time that the way the date goes is totally not a reflection on your friend, or you, or the guy. Hey, sometimes chemistry is there, and sometimes it isn't. So unless your friend is Patti Stanger, remind her that it's no one’s fault if this goes horribly wrong. (But if it goes totally right, you should probably buy her a drink).

4. First impressions are always important

Your ripped jeans may be lucky, but remember, this will be the first impression your date gets of you. Yes, you should never pretend to be someone that you’re not, but a girl might like to see that you take pride in your appearance. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you need to wear a full tuxedo, but having a shower, a shave and putting on something suitable will help you impress your date and get you off to a good start. Now all you have to worry about is turning up on time.

5. Go Beyond the Bar Scene

Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn't it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run? You never know where you're going to meet the next person you date, so if you're only looking in one spot (like that bar where you're a regular) then you're missing out on tons of possible partners. We know plenty of couples who have met while standing in line at the grocery store, a Target parking lot, even a naked reality show. The takeaway? Love can crop up anywhere, so get out there and keep your eyes open.

6. Make date plans for somewhere you’ll feel comfortable

Dating can be a daunting experience. If she’s asked you to pick somewhere, help cut through those nerves by arranging to meet up in familiar territory. This will help make you feel more comfortable. Although, maybe avoid your normal Saturday night pub, as bumping into your mates could be a little distracting on your date.

7. Split the bill

You’re two grown-ups, not a sugardaddy and his gold-digger. Chivalry means being attentive, thoughtful and fair, not paying for all the food.

8. Consider Dating Your Friends

The term "friend zone" should totally be banished—in part, because your friends can sometimes make the best dates. Think about it: Someone you're already friends with is likely to have similar values, to know your background and your family, and to make you feel ultra comfortable with them. Plus, friendship is the foundation for any relationship, so having that bond established can be key, says relationship expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship.

9. Be confident

Across the board, confidence is attractive – enthusiasm will make you shine. If you’re a little shy, practice beforehand by talking to people you don’t know. Or, whilst on the date, pick a subject that you’re enthusiastic about, such as a hobby. She will sense your confidence as you talk passionately about it. Many people may also be shy about their appearance. You may not be 6ft tall with a six-pack, but it’s more attractive to a woman to show that you’re comfortable in your own skin and happy being you.

10. Don’t do all the talking

On your date, make sure you don’t do all the talking. If this date goes well, there will be lots more opportunities to share your stories in the future. Don’t be scared of pauses and help mix up the conversation by asking your date questions. Listening is important, as it shows that you are interested in what she has to say.

11. Choose the Right Dating Site

The Internet is a beautiful thing: It brought us Twitter, cat videos, Orange Is the New Black, and now, it can bring you love. But when you're ready to make the plunge into online dating, how do you decide which site to sign up for? Think about what it is you want out of an online dating experience—A hookup? A marriage?—then choose the site that matches your interests, so you're not just wasting your time online (that's what the cat videos are for).

12. Keep the conversation fun

Try to keep your conversation light-hearted. On your first date, you don’t want to get into an in-depth conversation about why you don’t enjoy your job, or other issues you’ve been having. Yes you do have to be serious sometimes, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun.

13. Focus On First Impressions

First dates can be overwhelming, so streamline your focus into making the first few moments count. It takes only 12 minutes for you to decide if you're interested in the other person (and for them to decide if they dig you) so bring your A-game the second you arrive. To make a stellar first impression, make eye contact, smile, and focus on what he's saying, according to Susan RoAne, author of How to Work a Room: The Ultimate Guide to Making Lasting Connections—In Person and Online. And don’t forget to check in with yourself, too! You might be so focused on making a flawless first impression that you forget to ask yourself if you’re even into the other person.

14. Avoid the ‘ex’ conversation

Talking about your ex is dangerous territory. It’s best to stay away from the conversation altogether. It’s unlikely that your date will be interested and it can make things feel awkward between you. If your date does bring up the subject, try to keep answers short (without appearing suspicious). Reassure her that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know her instead.

15. Keep the smartphones away

Dating is all about etiquettes. Constantly checking your phone for IMs, Fb updates or Instagram feeds will show you are more interested in your followers than the person sitting in front of you.

16. Follow up correctly

If you don’t want a second date, don’t say you’ll call her. You’ll end up feeling bad and she might feel hurt. Just say, “I had a great time tonight”. If you do want to see her again, don’t play games. Yes, in films they always leave it a couple of days to contact each other, but this is real life. If you don’t contact her within a couple of days, you’ll seem like you couldn’t be bothered, or didn’t enjoy the date. The sooner you tell her what a great time you had, the better.

17. Avoid Oversharing

Word-vomit happens, but one way to tank a first date is to admit how long you spent Google stalking him or accidentally blurt out, "Woah, you look exactly like my ex!" The censorship walls can come down after a little bit, but try to steer clear of these awkward comments on a first date, or we're guessing there won't be a second one.

18. Pay Attention to HOW You Talk to Each Other

It's more than just what you're saying—it's how you say it. One study showed that when men talk to a woman they find attractive, they tend to vary their vocal pitch from high to low tones (in a sing-songy way). If you're looking to analyze the long-term potential, pay attention to the types of words you both use. Another study suggested that people who use the same function words (maybe you both say "quite" and "tons" a lot) are more likely to couple up and stay together.

19. Follow Their Gaze

Is it love at first sight? It depends on where their eyeballs land. Research suggests that when someone feels a romantic connection, his or her gaze tends to linger on the other person's face. When they just feel sexual desire, their eyes tend to wander around the person's body. During the next date you're on, follow their gaze. If he's staring into your eyes all night, there’s a good chance he's really into you.

20. Don't Let Your Friends Ruin Your Vibe

Getting your friends' (and family's) opinion on your new beau is essential, but if you ask too soon, it could color your own feelings. One study showed that when opinions were framed differently—saying that "seven out of ten" people liked your date, versus "three out of ten" people didn't like him—it can seriously affect our own evaluation. So you might want to avoid asking for an outside opinion until you've gotten the chance to make one yourself.

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First time tips

Best tips for men

Best tips for women

First time tips

1. Don’t expect too much from a first date

2. Meet quickly, or stop messaging

3. Let Your Friends Set You Up

4. First impressions are always important

5. Go Beyond the Bar Scene

6. Make date plans for somewhere you’ll feel comfortable

7. Split the bill

8. Consider Dating Your Friends

9. Be confident

10. Don’t do all the talking

11. Choose the Right Dating Site

12. Keep the conversation fun

13. Focus On First Impressions

14. Avoid the ‘ex’ conversation

15. Keep the smartphones away

16. Follow up correctly

17. Avoid Oversharing

18. Pay Attention to HOW You Talk to Each Other

19. Follow Their Gaze

20. Don't Let Your Friends Ruin Your Vibe

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